19 things my brother said nobody should never, ever, ever do
Many of us are double tasking-busily preparing for the holidays and looking a bit to the new year-2015. Most of us, whether we admit it or not, do a version of New Year’s Resolutions-kind of wishes, really. I wished I weighed less, I want to speak another language, I really will use that gym membership, etc. To feature the number 19 today, I have carefully selected 19 of the best “nevers” compiled from a list my eldest brother created. You might consider these as you are thinking of how to enrich/bring about change your life with resolutions for 2015.
P.S. You might glean from some of these “nevers” that our brother has lived an unorthodox life, and, I suspect, that most of these are lessons learned while enrolled in the school of hard knocks.
- Never guess a woman’s age.
- Never guess a woman’s weight.
- Never doubt a woman’s strength.
- Never pour gasoline into a post hole and throw a match in the hole.
- Never put yourself in the situation where all you can say is “I didn’t know it was loaded.”
- Never get into bed if you don’t know where your pocket knife is.
- Never go anywhere without a pocket knife….if that means you can’t fly on airplanes, so be it.
- Never loan your chainsaw or your toothbrush.
- Never walk on ice while your hands are in your pockets.
- Never perform other than minor surgery on yourself. If the incision is going to be more than 2 inches long and requires more than a pint of blood, it is best left to professionals. You have to trust me on this one.
- Never point at a moving part on a running engine unless you are an excellent judge of distance.
- Never point at a running table saw blade unless you are a superb judge of distance.
- Never try to buy a gun if you are crying.
- Never say to anyone, ever, “Go ahead, shoot!”
- Never keep all your ammo in one place.
- Never forget: [1] “If you can cut their air off for 4 minutes , they will turn loose of you.” [2] “Nobody can concentrate fully while they are being bitten by an animal or another human being”.
- Never run with your eyes closed.
- Never climb a tree…..unless you are very agile, less than 20 years of age and there is a very good reason to do so.
- Never stand under someone in a tree.
Would love to know which of these “nevers” struck a chord, or made you laugh out loud. My favorite is #13.
